Praising Come with so much Difficulty

Out of ten people who speak about you, nine would have nothing good to say. The one person, who has something good to say, will say it badly. – Pascal.

It is a sad statement about human nature that we find it agonizingly difficult to speak well of others. Praise has to be forced out of our hearts like a breathing exercise. You would remember the times you were asked to say thank you when you received a gift or card and that was the last thing you wanted to do. I have always wondered why speaking well of anything comes only with so much effort. Why do we want to hide what is in our heart?

I read the original in French sometime 40 years ago. It was quite an eye opener. Then I understood the value of human comments. It is as good as nil. People, as I understand, have two ways to see others; the first is with compassion as the Dalai Lama often reiterates-then you see everything with a forgiving and admiring eye. Like a child looking at the new world with wondrous astonishment. The second is the more normal way in which after the world has bashed and squeezed us up somewhat, our shoulders bent double with the heavy load of cares, we turn cynical and can’t see anything good in any situation, thing or act and person. We see ill intent all around us and its expression.

Well there is definitely room for improvement in all of us. We are not always very honest with others or ourselves and then we go to inordinate lengths to mask the truth of our hearts; often from ourselves too. We have funny convoluted reasons for conducting many of our business. This saying was sent to me by a friend recently and it speaks volumes about human nature: "Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them."

I would have thought this was self-evident. Does it need to be said?

Well we need to focus on the positive aspect. Some people do live in imaginatively speaking, clear-glass matter of fact, sensible and nothing-to-hide way. They have many happy stories to relate and are prepared to share their time and possessions. They see life as progressions of events designed to bring happy and happier times. They have nothing to hide and couldn’t care if whatever is visible is seen by others. They have realized there are billions of similar entities out there and they are nothing special to gloat about. Self-aware and humble; they are lovely people and these are the people who will always have something nice to say about you.

But alas they are rarely trained professors of languages and have no training in PR techniques. They are woefully inadequate in expressing themselves in a precise and calculated language that would leave no doubt in the mind of the listener; something that leaves no room for double entendres or further distortion. Because it is a quirk of life that if anything can be distorted, the embedded prejudice in people will do so and more often than not do it in such a way that a lingering perfume of negativity and is left behind.